Getting Tian

"What you end up remembering isn't always the same as what you have witnessed." from The Sense of an Ending (Julian Barnes) samplereadings

Labels: samplereadings

Today I'm reading sample chapters on iBooks to find books to read this week. It's like watching movie trailers.

What an amazing year we've had together as a family! Exactly one year ago today, Stephen and I met our beautiful baby girl in an orange furry shirt... this girl who has become the apple of our eyes and has us wrapped tightly around each finger and toe! Tian is a gift of God's grace to us, a gift that we are thankful for every moment of the day.

Tian loves to watch the two minute snippet of the "Gotcha Day" moment that Stephen has saved for us on a DVD. She watches and says, "Ti!" and then as we meet she says, "Mama!" Little does she know how sacred that moment was - the moment a life-long tapestry flipped over and we saw the beauty of the other side. Seldom do we witness the amazing artistry of God's providence in a moment! But that was it for me!

Tonight I was reading with Tian before she went to sleep. We read the usual three books: Papa Get the Moon for Me, Mama Mama Papa Papa, and Elmo Loves Me. We prayed together and then Tian was unusually giddy instead of winding down. So we sang silly songs I've made up using some of her favorite words like "pop" or "Ti" or "ZIZI". She just laughed and sang for a few minutes after I had zoned out with her in my lap. Then she said, "Nigh-night" and went to sleep in my lap. And that is how it is to live with the sweetest little creature in our world.

We plan to celebrate our year as a family this weekend with a trip to an Asian restaurant in town. Stephen has started Mandarin classes and had class tonight. (We're hoping he learns a new line of Chinese during the semester instead of just, "May I have a Coke please?") Our gift to Tian will be some groceries for her kitchen, including some Chinese food of course.

And Happy Chinese New Year, January 29th!

It was just a year ago when the call came that we had a beautiful baby girl waiting for us in Kunming, Yunnan, China. I remember being so surprised when Steve looked at the picture and instantly fell head-over-heels in love with her. For the months preceding the phone call, Steve has said things like " I just don't understand how all these adoptive parents 'fall in love with a picture!'" Little did I know that was only the beginning!! We've both been falling in love ever since!

Tian is pure joy. She has such a sweet personality and fits perfectly in our family. She is growing to be a tall girl, fitting perfectly into a size 2 right now. At 22 months, Tian is talking with new words every day. It's such fun to finally hear her words. She loves her Elmo and stuffed doggies, comfort toys of choice. She plays with her dolls - feeding them and rocking them with such sweet care. Sometimes I have to blink back tears as I see the way she has responded to being loved by giving it back to her babies. With children adopted almost a year after birth, this nurture extended in play is not taken lightly by the parents. Tian loves to write with a pencil or pen in her "writer's notebook". She writes daily which is a great inspiration to her mama and papa who really need to be doing that!

Grace upon grace - Steve and I were talking last night about how the adoptive process was so hard... and there were times when it seemed TOO hard. But there are no words to describe how grateful we are that God pushed us through it - to give us such a beautiful gift. Steve and I are so tired at night that we can hardly make it past her 8:00 bedtime... but within a few minutes of her sound sleep one of us usually says something like, "Isn't she something? It's the best thing we've ever done!" In our hearts we know the truth... It's the best thing He's ever done... Reaching down here, and adopting us into His family and allowing us to see the beauty of adopting one of His precious ones into our family. Have a wonderful Christmas!

Tian is 17 months old! And it seemed like she spent the day proving to us she was one month older. Her firsts today were... moving her xylophone off of the Quattro Lego box, opening the box, dumping the legos, and playing independently for quite some time. She crawled up the stairs on all fours for the first time today (I was following very closely of course). She laughed while her dad pushed a stroller during an evening stroll while she walked the whole way. Tian also signed a double please to her dad when she wanted more grated parmesan cheese - her favorite treat! She was totally intrigued with snaps - she has conquered zippers, screw-on lids, and bottle caps.

We have met with our social worker for the 6 month post- home study visit. Everything seems to be going well, but we have decided to make use of the free early intervention services for pre-schoolers in our county. A team of early childhood specialists will visit Tian in her home and determine how close to age level her skills have come. We think she is just brilliant and way beyond where we would have expected. But there may be some areas of need in speech.

The sleeping issues seem to have resolved for now. We have only about 5 - 10 minutes of sleep time routine and she sleeps for about 11 or 12 hours. Steve and I are loving it!

Tian is such a sweet little girl. The other day, we were reading "I Love You Like Crazy Cakes", the picture book about adoption from China. When we got to the end of the book where the baby is being held and fed a bottle in her mother's arms, Tian crawled into my lap and laid there just like the picture. It was the sweetest thing. I just held her for awhile - loving the privilege of being her mother. I do love her like crazy cakes!

Bubbly Alexa


Pensive Tian


. . . with Caleb and Emma Wooley


. . . making cookies

I see it has been almost a month since I last posted an entry on this blog... and that was only a picture! Remember the days when I posted almost daily??

I've been home from teaching school for a few weeks and love the more relaxed schedule with Tian. She is now 16 months old and learning new things every day. She has a few words she uses consistantly like Momma, Da Da (although we are not sure if this refers to Daddy, dogs, or if it is a multiple meaning word depending on the intonation), uh oh, hi, up, aw done. She has a number of words she has used once or twice and she is signing some.

Her fine motor is completely caught up with where she should be at 16 months. She actually did a 100 sticker animal book with me in a few days at the beginning of June. She has been doing some coloring in... on... her high chair and plays with sidewalk chalk.

Her gross motor skills are great. To think she wasn't sitting independently 5 months ago and now has gone through the crawling stage, walking, and almost to running now.

For Father's Day, her sisters Tory and Alexa came home. It was great to see how they enjoyed each other thoroughly. Tian loved their jewelry, Alexa's puppy Alfie, and lots of giant bubbles.

Another wonderful addition to our lives here in Asheville, has been my sister Michelle and her husband moving here. They have three children who are wonderful cousins to Tian. It has been so much fun being able to meet a sister for lunch or to take the kids all swimming together.

So Tian's world just keeps getting bigger. She is exploring every detail with enthusiasm. Her favorite nature object is a pine cone -- points to a pine tree for a pine cone on every afternoon walk. Her favorite household item is a calculator -- walks around for hours punching in numbers. Her favorite toy is a Pottery Barn stuffed dog. Her favorite food right now is "Yo-Baby" yogurt, any flavor and a hearty multi-grain bread that would make her grandpa proud of her "German" taste. Her favorite restaurant is Carrabbas - anything on the menu including calamarri???!

And her favorite people - anyone in her family. She is just delighted with the people she loves. The other night, our family including Tian, Alexa, and Tory and my sister's family including Ben,Michelle, Emma, Caleb, and Anna Grace all went to dinner and then went to an organic grocery store afterwards... a little family field trip! Steve was guiding the shopping cart with Tian in tow. As I came down an aisle, I saw Steve and Tian. "There's Mommy!" Steve said and Tian just squealed. Then he crossed to another aisle as Tory and Alexa walked down - "There are your sisters!" he commented. Tian grinned and jumped up and down. Soon she saw the cousins and her aunt and uncle - she jumped up and down again. Tears came to my eyes as I realized how much she loves her world and the people with whom God has placed her. And we couldn't be happier.

I just put her to bed and can't wait for the morning!

I now have my own site: stayathomedads.net

Please check it out. The blog on that site is HERE

Thanks for reading my entries but now I'm going to let Lorraine get back to her own blogging.

--Stephen

Today Tian is 15 months old. I can hardly believe it! I asked Steve yesterday if there is actually a phobia about time passing. When Tian reached for the spoon to feed herself spaghetti the other night, I couldn't believe it. She is growing up too fast. She walks all over the place - Steve has counted up to 50 or 60 steps on her own now. She loves to kick a ball, somersault, and play dolls. What a sweetie!

We've had a great weekend together. The three of us went to Cracker Barrel for breakfast - Tian had her grits! She is such a good southern girl! Then we went to look at parks around the city, finding one near a soccer field where some of my past students were playing. She hugged and kissed a very dirty soccer ball for a while and then went on to swing on the playground. She loves to swing.

But my favorite moment of the weekend came yesterday evening, when the sky began to darken after supper. A storm was approaching. So Tian and I went out on the front porch to watch it roll in, Tian in her little white rocker and me in the big red one. Steve soon joined us. It was so quiet and peaceful. Then the thunder began and each roll sent Tian into clapping with a big smile on her face. As it began to rain, she listened. Steve finally took her out into the rain and she just loved it! She came back to me in the rocker and just sat quietly listening to the peaceful sounds of nature. It might be my most precious moment yet!

Every day one of us, Steve or me, turn to each other and say... "isn't this the best thing we have ever done"?

These photos are overdue. We celebrated Tian's birthday (2/15) on February 16th when Alexa and Tory could visit. The photographer for the occasion did not do a very good job and all the photos had red eyes and it took some time to get them fixed.

Lorraine, Tory, Alexa, and Tian


Alexa and Tian


Tory and Tian


Tory, Alexa, and Tian


Tory, Alexa, and Tian


The Cake


Mommy Serving the Cake


Tian Putting the Cake in Her Hair


Opening Presents


Opening Cards


Playing Patty Cake