Getting Tian

We had a wonderful Christmas with Steve's daughters. The girls brought gifts that were really fun, especially the baby things. Tian now has a Pooh night light, blanket, knitted hat, and a beautiful sign from Chinatown in NYC with her name in Chinese characters. We had fun playing Malarky, going to a movie "A Series of Unfortunate Events", and knitting. Stephanie is a very accomplished knitter and helped me get back into it. Stephanie had made the baby a sweet yellow hat, so I made a pastel scarf to go with it. Eventually I made another hat matching the scarf. Steve is also trying to learn to knit, but it has been quite the challenge for him thus far.

The time has come to pull out the suitcases and to begin to survey the space available. I pulled the bathroom scales up to the baby's room so I could weigh the suitcases as I pack. I have heard that they cannot be more than 44 lbs. We need to separate our things into a number of satchels in case a suitcase is lost or held up somewhere. So it will be a mammoth task. I have most of the travel items we need for the baby like: medications, diapers, formula, rice cereal, a few bottles, and all kinds of miscellaneous supplies. Steve and I are planning to go very light with clothes, and we haven't even begun to do baby clothes. We need to think layers for the baby-dressing on the trip. Since it is January, the clothing police (Chinese grandmothers) will be on patrol on the streets of China.

This week brought the last appointment with our agency and we filled out our Visa applications for China. We also received a list of all of the paperwork we need to take to China. I think I have most of it together now. This holiday break came at a great time for us to pull last month things together.

Happy New Year to all of you!

I found the cork from the champagne bottle - had kept it in a dish on my dresser but forgot about it. Guess what is stamped like a monogram on the top? "T" - I guess for Tian! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT???

A friend and I had coffee together yesterday afternoon at Starbucks. Marta asked, " Have you looked back to see what you were doing on the day she was born?" All I knew was that Tian was born on the 15th of February, obviously the day after Valentines. I had already glanced back through my blog to note that we finished our home study with the actual home visit on the 17th.

Well it was about 4:00 a.m. when I had an idea - look up my email logs from February - especially the "sent mail" which I NEVER clean out. This is what I found... "what a nice coincidence!"

From: Lorraine Griffith
Subject: Thinking of you
Date: February 14, 2004 8:40:07 PM EST
To: "SMITH BONNIE"

Did you have a romantic Valentines?? Ours has been dreamy - I made dinner tonight with candlelight - Steve opened the champagne we have been saving for 8 years - for knowing we would have a baby. Of course, he had forgotten that was what the champagne had been saved for - but it was a very nice coincidence!

Snow tomorrow - can you believe it??

You are such a dear friend!
Lorraine

What a week! Steve and I feel like after a year of holding our breath, we have now exhaled. Our eyes have seen the image of a little girl who is already our daughter. We have both slept so much better and have an incredible peace about Tian's homecoming in the coming month.

I wanted to share a bit about the name... Since June or July, we have had a name in mind for our daughter. But when we saw her Chinese name and learned its meaning, we immediately changed our minds. Her name, Tian Michelle-Meng, means "Heaven's Beautiful Dream". Isn't that amazing? We could not have made up a name as perfect. So we thank the name-giver in China and my dear sister in Denver for the combination of names summing up our feelings about this miraculous adoption.

We will be very busy over the next month - celebrating Christmas with Steve's daughters, preparing for some time away from my job(s), making lists for the trip and for the nursery, and packing for the big trip. I really couldn't prepare much for Tian until I knew her age enough to guess at sizes. So hanging in the closet are two tie-dyed onsies and one sleeveless dress for next summer. I have a number of friends who have offered clothing bags to sort through for the trip - can't wait to do that! A freebie Goodwill experience!

In case you missed it, this is the email we sent out with the first pictures to friends:

We would like to introduce to you our daughter, Tian Michelle-Meng Griffith, (pronounced t YEN) now residing in Kunming in the Yunnan province of China. She was born on February 15, 2004, so she will be 10 months old tomorrow. Tian takes 2 hour naps (Steve pointed out the beauty of that right away - right up his alley!) At six months old she loved her walker, was grabbing at toys and putting them in her mouth. She appears to be healthy and spunky! Our favorite photo of course is the funny one, mostly because it proves she is perfect for our family. We think we detect a dimple with that half smile!

Hopefully we will be able to celebrate her first birthday in the United States! We hope to go to China in January.

This next week, we have a consultation scheduled with our family doctor to look at Tian's referral information and to make a plan for taking medical supplies to China with us. We will also begin to shop for the basics we will need in China - formula, diapers, bottles... We have the privilege of having a fifth time adoptive family in our group. The mom of five "Chinese American sweetie-pies" is tutoring me on the basics of adopting from China. I am very thankful to be in her travel group.

Introducing Our Daughter, Tian Michelle-Meng Griffith, Born February 15, 2004. Waiting for her parents in Kunming, China

Since we knew "the call" could come today from our agency, Steve cancelled his morning and afternoon writers' groups to sit by the phone - an assignment he took very seriously. Quick shower with the phone just outside the shower... not even a "hi" to our sweet dogs out on the porch. But no call. I left school just after car duty and flew home to relieve him for a few hours. He still waited around until a little after four and went to the grocery store. I laid down to take a nap, woke up, and the phone rang 4:40 p.m.

"Hello this is Carol at CSS! I've tried all day to get a little information for you and this is what I have! I'm breathless - could not believe it! You have a baby born February 15, 2004 named Tian Meng Guan." Wow! So she is real! And I am finally a real little girl's mama!

I tried to ask more questions - but there weren't any answers in Carol's hands. She asked if we wanted to come in tomorrow to see the pictures - the earliest she thought they would be there was 2:30. That is of course when our appointment is at the agency.

Steve! Yep! ... in the spice aisle at Ingles... "Are you kidding me? After I waited ALL day by the phone? YOU get the call! Okay go ahead and tell me all of it!" So Steve heard he was a dad to a little Chinese sweetie in the spice aisle of Ingles!

One of my favorite authors wrote about our lives being like a tapestry, where we only see the underside while Providence works out the pattern. As I was sitting here pondering this morning, I thought about how many years I have only been allowed to see the under side of mixed up colors and threads with no real pattern to appreciate.

But in this life, there are rare moments when we are able to rise above the "project" and see part of the plan. For many reasons, this year has been one of those "rise above" years. I've seen Steve actually have the time carved out to write what he wants to, a lifelong dream. I've been able to see a culmination as my research was published and considered by other educators. I've seen us settle a ten year struggle with finding a place to worship, now valuing hugely the arduous process it took to get here.

But more than anything, when I think of the 23 years of struggling with an unfulfilled desire to have a child and be a mom... realizing my internal agony over the years... I know now. It was for this chosen one in China at just the right moment! And this week I will rise above the work of sovereign artistry and see her face.

Steve called this afternoon to say he had received a phone call from our agency, Catholic Social Services. Our social worker, Michele, announced that we have a referral coming early next week. She also had some real news - our travel group of four families' babies are in Kunming in the Yunnan province of China. That was the city I was hoping for because I had heard such wonderful things about the city and the scenic surroundings. But most of all, this news was exciting because this long process seem so much more real...actually bearing a baby in the end! I am feeling a more specific pull to a certain crib in Kunming, Yunnan, China.

We were also told we could plan to travel in January. This is wonderful because it means we will be back home before Chinese New Year, with the increased cost and travel congestion associated with a huge holiday.

So exciting!! We will have specific information with the referral next week! Now...is it one or two?? Boy or girl? 9 months or 16 months? Size?

Rumors have been flying about referrals for about two weeks! But each time I think there might be a picture delivered within days, it seems the"facts" are simply wishful thinking by other expectant parents. I am beginning to feel like the overdue pregnant woman who will go through anything just to have the wait come to an end! Our agency has said to begin looking the 2nd week of December. I was hoping it would be the second week that had a December day in it, but now I'm thinking they mean the 2nd full week. So much for that loophole!

But preparation for Christmas makes it easier. We are busy with church music this holiday season and have loved it, Steve on his bass and me in the choir. There are a number of parties and friend get-togethers coming up in the near future. Stephanie, Alexa, and Tory will be here for Christmas and that means we need to get the shopping finished. Plenty to think about...

It's just that I am so curious! Every day I'm filled with a different curiosity - some days I'm just dying to know if it is one or two... some days it is the province she (they) are coming from... some days it is the age, 9 months or 16 months... some days I just want to know the size... and other days I think I'll not make it through another day without a picture.

But so far I've made it through every day and have enjoyed the time of still being in more control of my activities. I realize freedom with time is coming to an end for awhile - and I should enjoy it while I have it! So I will!