Thursday, January 29, 2004
I 600 A
Today we sent the Immigration form I 600A "Application for Advance Processing of Orphan Petition" to Charlotte. The form is not actually processed until our home study is finished and sent to Charlotte. We will have an appointment for fingerprinting in the near future. I felt as excited as when I sent off my National Boards, feeling like we should take a picture at the post office. I saw Steve's truck at the post office as I drove home from work and pulled in so I could witness it. But he was already finished. In case any of you readers are interested, we did ask for permission to bring TWO into the US. The immigration paperwork is supposed to take about two months after the home study arrives.
Tuesday, January 27, 2004
Home Study - Joint
Today we had another home study session with our social worker. The theme of today's discussion was our marriage.
We handed in a little paper work while we were there, but I think she was disappointed that we didn't have more completed. Steve made a comment about how well we were doing - I added that we might possibly even be record-setters. She didn't seem too impressed with us... She went on to tell us that once she had a Russian adoption that happened from initial inquiry to baby in five months. Oh well! We won't be winning that contest!
We also had our physicals this afternoon for the dossier. I originally thought the appointments would be months away. But when I called Monday, our wonderful doctor scheduled it for the following day. (Yes! Our doctor actually answered the phone and made the appointments herself!) We will be able to pick up the paperwork after our blood test results come back from the lab. They do not have a notary at the doctor's office, so we will have to bring our own notary with us to testify to the doctor signing the papers.
I also learned today more about the "Stamp Act." The requirement isn't just a stamp to authenticate the notary. A state stamp has to authenticate the authenticator of the notary and then the federal government has to authenticate the state authenticator of the county authenticator for the notary. It reminds me of "...that lives in the house that Jack built!"
We handed in a little paper work while we were there, but I think she was disappointed that we didn't have more completed. Steve made a comment about how well we were doing - I added that we might possibly even be record-setters. She didn't seem too impressed with us... She went on to tell us that once she had a Russian adoption that happened from initial inquiry to baby in five months. Oh well! We won't be winning that contest!
We also had our physicals this afternoon for the dossier. I originally thought the appointments would be months away. But when I called Monday, our wonderful doctor scheduled it for the following day. (Yes! Our doctor actually answered the phone and made the appointments herself!) We will be able to pick up the paperwork after our blood test results come back from the lab. They do not have a notary at the doctor's office, so we will have to bring our own notary with us to testify to the doctor signing the papers.
I also learned today more about the "Stamp Act." The requirement isn't just a stamp to authenticate the notary. A state stamp has to authenticate the authenticator of the notary and then the federal government has to authenticate the state authenticator of the county authenticator for the notary. It reminds me of "...that lives in the house that Jack built!"
Saturday, January 24, 2004
Accepted
The Happenings...
Yesterday, we received our official letter of acceptance from the Catholic Social Services in Asheville. The letter was actually dated January 15th, so we were thrilled to have it in our hands. Our appointment with the social worker was an orientation into the second phase of this process. Most of the time was spent with information dispensing... articles on a mixed race adoption, adoption language, possible medical issues, resources available for children's books on the topic, and even an on-line course we can take on the issues of adoption. I have spent so much time studying the topic on line that I actually recognized many of the author's names, especially concerning attachment and medical issues.
We were thrilled to find out the degree to which our agency helps with the paper chase. Because all of the sealed and certified documents such as birth and marriage certificates now have to be "authenticated," it is a huge task. Our agency does much of that as a service for us. Have you ever wondered about the whole notary thing??? Like couldn't you just get a notary seal at a yard sale and stamp away? Not if you are adopting from China! They check your notary's authentication and stamp it with another stamp. It's like one big recurrence from the 1700's of the "STAMP ACT"!
Needless to say, we are very excited to feel like we are in the system and moving along. We have all of our home study visits scheduled now through February 10th. We are sending our immigration papers to Charlotte NC this week. Our SW said the immigration takes about two months from the time our home study is written up. Our hope is that we are logged in China by May.... That means that we could be traveling in March of 2005.
My feelings at this point are similar to finding out I'm pregnant.... but don't get excited! Since I've lost both of my babies in miscarriage it doesn't feel like it's really going to end with a baby. I told Steve this morning that I think our dossier logged in China will feel like I heard the heartbeat... something I have never experienced and then it will be real.
Yesterday, we received our official letter of acceptance from the Catholic Social Services in Asheville. The letter was actually dated January 15th, so we were thrilled to have it in our hands. Our appointment with the social worker was an orientation into the second phase of this process. Most of the time was spent with information dispensing... articles on a mixed race adoption, adoption language, possible medical issues, resources available for children's books on the topic, and even an on-line course we can take on the issues of adoption. I have spent so much time studying the topic on line that I actually recognized many of the author's names, especially concerning attachment and medical issues.
We were thrilled to find out the degree to which our agency helps with the paper chase. Because all of the sealed and certified documents such as birth and marriage certificates now have to be "authenticated," it is a huge task. Our agency does much of that as a service for us. Have you ever wondered about the whole notary thing??? Like couldn't you just get a notary seal at a yard sale and stamp away? Not if you are adopting from China! They check your notary's authentication and stamp it with another stamp. It's like one big recurrence from the 1700's of the "STAMP ACT"!
Needless to say, we are very excited to feel like we are in the system and moving along. We have all of our home study visits scheduled now through February 10th. We are sending our immigration papers to Charlotte NC this week. Our SW said the immigration takes about two months from the time our home study is written up. Our hope is that we are logged in China by May.... That means that we could be traveling in March of 2005.
My feelings at this point are similar to finding out I'm pregnant.... but don't get excited! Since I've lost both of my babies in miscarriage it doesn't feel like it's really going to end with a baby. I told Steve this morning that I think our dossier logged in China will feel like I heard the heartbeat... something I have never experienced and then it will be real.
Monday, January 19, 2004
The Beginnings
Well we are officially in the process of adopting a daughter (or two) in China. We received preliminary approval today. This Friday, the 23rd of January, we will be having our home study interview with our social worker. Hopefully I will be able to schedule out more of a timeline after that appointment.
How do I describe our arrival at this decision? Ask my longsuffering friends and they will probably say, "why did it take so long?" Since long before Steve and I married, I have had a burning desire to parent. I think it was actually since I was 13 and my baby sister, Michelle, was born. From that point, I wanted to be a mother more than anything.
This particular journey began in earnest, when I had a choice to make: "get over" the disappointment of another broken dream following the second failed domestic adoption and two miscarriages... or take a flying leap into the unknown by beginning the application to adopt internationally. I've always thought there was plenty of time for that decision and then woke up in November to realize that it was now or never. And Steve loves parenting, so that was never an issue. It was just that nothing had worked until now.
I do think in retrospect, I have lived my life in reverse of many women's journeys. Even though I wanted to bury myself in family early on, I floundered in a career... eventually settling on education in my early thirties. I had wonderful opportunities to travel extensively with consulting, to write, to work on degrees, to teach at a local university, and then to earn my National Boards. I still enjoy my career very much, but now I'm ready to do what most women I know pull off effortlessly in their 20's... to parent a child. And for all of those who think that 46 is too late to begin this process, my mom did this biologically when she was my age...
How do I describe our arrival at this decision? Ask my longsuffering friends and they will probably say, "why did it take so long?" Since long before Steve and I married, I have had a burning desire to parent. I think it was actually since I was 13 and my baby sister, Michelle, was born. From that point, I wanted to be a mother more than anything.
This particular journey began in earnest, when I had a choice to make: "get over" the disappointment of another broken dream following the second failed domestic adoption and two miscarriages... or take a flying leap into the unknown by beginning the application to adopt internationally. I've always thought there was plenty of time for that decision and then woke up in November to realize that it was now or never. And Steve loves parenting, so that was never an issue. It was just that nothing had worked until now.
I do think in retrospect, I have lived my life in reverse of many women's journeys. Even though I wanted to bury myself in family early on, I floundered in a career... eventually settling on education in my early thirties. I had wonderful opportunities to travel extensively with consulting, to write, to work on degrees, to teach at a local university, and then to earn my National Boards. I still enjoy my career very much, but now I'm ready to do what most women I know pull off effortlessly in their 20's... to parent a child. And for all of those who think that 46 is too late to begin this process, my mom did this biologically when she was my age...
Monday, January 12, 2004
The Application
It was January 12th in the late afternoon. I was speaking on fluency of course at a reading council meeting in Barnes and Noble when Steve came in and sat down. As soon as I was finished, Steve and I walked out of the store. He grabbed my elbow and said, "Oh Lorraine! It was SOOOOO exciting!" I tried to think of what it would be...
"I dropped off the application at the agency!" He said. "Oh!" I had wondered if he would actually get over there since he had a packed day of errands and writer's groups. "Well what happened??"
Steve said he had gone by the doctor's to pick up our last document, the "he's got a chronic illness but he's okay to adopt letter" . He put the letter in the application notebook, and then drove over to the agency. But he was so excited, he couldn't remember where it was. Finally he weaved around near Fuddruckers, his landmark, and remember it was on Orange Street. He pulled up in front of the agency, got out, and walked in.
No one was at the desk... "So I rang the bell! And it was so exciting! A young girl came out of an office and I handed her the notebook. I said, 'It's our adoption application!' The girl responded with, "Oh and I'm sure you wish you could see Michelle, your social worker, but she isn't here."
Steve said no that was fine and left... I kept waiting for a punch line! But no! It was literally the handing over of the papers that was so exciting. Maybe you have to know Steve's introverted quiet way of life, but the whole account was so funny!
"I dropped off the application at the agency!" He said. "Oh!" I had wondered if he would actually get over there since he had a packed day of errands and writer's groups. "Well what happened??"
Steve said he had gone by the doctor's to pick up our last document, the "he's got a chronic illness but he's okay to adopt letter" . He put the letter in the application notebook, and then drove over to the agency. But he was so excited, he couldn't remember where it was. Finally he weaved around near Fuddruckers, his landmark, and remember it was on Orange Street. He pulled up in front of the agency, got out, and walked in.
No one was at the desk... "So I rang the bell! And it was so exciting! A young girl came out of an office and I handed her the notebook. I said, 'It's our adoption application!' The girl responded with, "Oh and I'm sure you wish you could see Michelle, your social worker, but she isn't here."
Steve said no that was fine and left... I kept waiting for a punch line! But no! It was literally the handing over of the papers that was so exciting. Maybe you have to know Steve's introverted quiet way of life, but the whole account was so funny!
